Feelings on Rock of Ages

I am a person who saw Rock of Ages (the musical) four or five times from the front row; not because I was absolutely in love with it, but because it was in town and had a lottery and starred Canadian theatre actors. For this I went into the movie with mild trepidation and slight hysteria. I never had a rock-solid bond to the show in its purest form, but I do have a fondness for its campiness. Thus, a lot of feelings.

- For the most part, I was apathetic about the movie. I bopped my head to the tunes but I did not care about most of the plot or characters. In the musical I do care, but I'm not sure whether to blame that on direction or sheer proximity or live vs. filmed.

- Tom Cruise was the absolute best part. He should always play slightly-crazy, in all seriousness, with his best interests at heart: play crazy, sir.

- Diego Boneta could be Yvan Pedneault's twin, to the extent that it's absurd. I kept expecting him to speak (and sing) with an accent.

- I do not use this word lightly, but I hated the entire subplot with the mayor and his wife. Every single minute of it was useless and unnecessary. It did not add anything to the plot or the movie. It didn't even make sense; she wanted to close The Bourbon because she dated Stacee Jaxx? That is a complete logical fallacy. I actually hope Catherine Zeta Jones loved the musical and wanted to be a part of it so bad that they shoved her in there, because it had no purpose or value.

- That said, the absolute travesty of the film was Hit Me With Your Best Shot. Okay, I mean no offense to CZJ, but when you're expecting neon track suits and campy stage fighting, a bunch of Stepford wives in a church isn't going to cut it. When they removed the developer/protester subplot, they excised some of the most beautiful camp from the film. Really, really not wise.

- In general, they toned down the campiness. Mistake. This show/movie only works with the most extreme and unabashed disregard for dignity and subtlety. The film seemed to want to be in the middle, and that ruined a lot of things that could have been really brilliant.

- Back to things I liked: The entire bus singing with Sherrie in the beginning. That is one of the perfect moments you can only find in a musical.

- Sherrie actually sang in canon!!! This is major. The musical gets her pregnant while Drew is the one to actually sing on stage. Boo. Sherrie wanted to be a singer and she deserves some of the spotlight. Thumbs up on that one.

That's all I can think of. Overall: A disappointment. Some true bright spots, but on the whole forgettable. Too bad.